Introspective

in OCD4 months ago



Life is Good to Me...



As I listen to certain songs my mind travels into memories of my past. Lately I've been listening to music without lyrics as a way to meditate and think about my life.

This song makes me think of challenges I've overcome. During the past couple of years I thought I was hopeless, I really felt all would be lost - But, I've come so far and grown so much, yet I still have so much more to learn.

God works in mysterious ways and now I am realizing that there was a plan all along. I couldn't see it years ago but I am beginning to understand that my life now is on a much better path. The main thing I care about is my son. I want the best life for him that is full of happy memories with me. Lately I have been working on my health, my mind and my body so that I am the best version of myself. My primary drive for working on myself is my son, but I am emboldened by people who believe I am weak.

In this life all you have is memories and oftentimes you have to make sacrifices, that balance can be hard to find. I tend to rationalize much of what I do and never feel like I am wrong at the time, but I would assume many fall into this trap. In the past 6 months I have done nothing but work on my health and focus on my son. The time I have with my son is so much better than any feeling or accomplishment I've ever had.

Over the past three years I have grown more than ever and God has given me peace on all my worries. There was a time that I thought I would spend 1/100th of the time I'm able to with my son and that I would be all alone dealing with that problem, trapped by my circumstances. But, I took the biggest risk, something I could have never seen myself doing up until the moment I acted on my belief that I was doing the right thing and it all worked out. Then COVID hit and that eliminated much of the stigma that surrounded the new circumstances I was in, in my case COVID was a blessing.

Money was also a huge concern of mine, because what I went through crippled me financially - I literally spent every dollar I had saved except for a little bit that was stashed away. With COVID the markets tanked and right around that time, the endless amounts of money I was spending finally came to an end. I took another huge risk and put every dollar I stashed away and bought Crypto.

I learned a lot from those three years, but one thing I learned was not to be greedy since I had to sell all the crypto I had prior to my new buy when it was at the bottom of the market. I didn't sell anything in the last bull run, but this time I sold. I sold because I washed away all the financial losses I took over the past three years and I didn't want that to slip past me... I still have a lot of "free play money" now but I feel relieved.

My circumstances taught me everything I know and helped me make the decisions that have erased all my nightmares, because now I live a dream. I am very grateful and that's something I thought I wouldn't say for a long time. I have nothing to be angry about, I could have had a lot more money than I have now, but I have enough. I could have had a lot more time with my son, but the time I do have with my son is amazing, and there is a balance that I might not have been able to find in other conditions.

The thing I never lost faith in though was that I had a guardian angel looking out for me, because I've gone through so many difficult times in my life and came out in a much better place before. When people try to bring me down I get stronger and one thing I never do is take vengeance because I live by a higher code and I'd be terrified from the repercussions of a higher power I believe in. It's those beliefs I have that are at the core of my strength, whether you share them or not, it doesn't matter to me.

Take a look at your life... Where are you now? What are your concerns? Are you happy? What more do you want out of life? For myself, the answer to these questions are simple, because I realize more everyday that I don't require a whole lot, and looking back that's the one thing I'm grateful for learning about myself.

Have a nice day!

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Hey Andrew, didn't see you for long time.

My circumstances taught me everything I know

Yes, that's how we learn and improve ourselves. We have to take the difficulties in the life as a point of starting, working hard to achieve our better version.

And you have that most precious motivation, your son. Your love towards him will guide you, as it already is happening. You are doing very well 👌😇

Hi Mipiano, great to hear from you! I recently moved so I was busy setting up a new, bigger place!

I have to motivation on being the father I wish I had, since I didn't have one.

Hope all is well with you, will try and be more active here. Finally settling down!

Congrats for the new place and enjoy every moment 👌

Yes, everything ok with me, thanks ☺️
I am living the best I can...the circumstances can not (should not) stop us choosing our attitude 😉

Greetings 👋👋

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